I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
