Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
