Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
