I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
time to smoke my breakfast
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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