You're a womanizer and a bitch.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
