we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
