My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
