Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
