Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
