i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
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I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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