Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
