My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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