last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
