my vag is so smooth its legendary
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
