Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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