I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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