Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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