if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
