I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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