she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
