you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize