I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
