I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
