She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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