Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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