I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
