Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
