Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
