One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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