soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize