is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
