Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
