I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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