people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
