I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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