How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize