In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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