She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
