We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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