Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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