in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
