Where is the hickey?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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