Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
