How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I cut my penus on the lid.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
