every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
