His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
