You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize