he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
