it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
