My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
