I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
