All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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