he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
