Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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