hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
