you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
