Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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