maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
