I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
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Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
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You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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