ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
