so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
