you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
